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Milestones tend happen later in life now, and children are often in their mid-twenties or even older when they finally fly the nest. As parents, we get used to having them around when they’re adults, and of course, for many of us, it’s a big wrench when they finally go. But it’s also the beginning of a new chapter.
We’ve put together a few tips on how to start on your new sleep journey during this delicate transition:
Adjust to your new routine
Although research on empty nesters shows that missing the kids can lead to disturbed sleep, it doesn’t have to be that way. Nights have the potential to be more restful now you’re no longer up late listening for the sound of their key in the lock. You can take time to relax and unwind the evening because you know you won’t be getting a call to pick your teenager up from a party!
Create your new sleep sanctuary
Sounder sleep starts with transforming your bedroom into a place that looks welcoming and feels wonderful. You could start by choosing bedding and sourcing accessories that turn your bed into a serene sanctuary for you to relax and enjoy, whether you’re sharing your space with a partner, pet or both!
Here are some ideas:
Splash out on sheets
Great sleep starts from the bottom up, so choosing the right material for your sheets is essential. There’s a choice of fabrics on the market, but cotton sheets have plenty to recommend them. Not only do they feel lovely and soft, they also have the advantage of being extremely breathable – so you won’t get too hot in the summer or too cold in the winter.
When it comes to fabric, there’s nothing better than Egyptian cotton for strong, soft, durable sheets with a satisfyingly silky feel. Thread count is another thing to look out for: the higher the thread count of your sheets, the more substantial they feel. Egyptian cotton with a 1000 thread count is the ultimate in opulence – a perfect basis for supremely comfortable nights.
Pick a duvet and pillow
You can find duvets and pillows filled with wool, silk or synthetic materials, but the treat-yourself option is goose down. It has a unique, cloud-like quality which makes it a soothing sleep choice. Goose down also boasts high ‘loft’, which simply means it’s a great insulator, keeping you warm without overheating.
There’s not just filling to think about though – duvet tog rating is also an important consideration. Basically, the lower the tog rating, the lighter the duvet. So a 2.5 would be right for a sweltering summer night, while a 15 will keep you toasty in the coldest weather. For those of us who don’t like chopping and changing, a tog rating of 10.5 stays comfortable all year round. Pair your duvet with a gently supportive Goose down pillow and you’re set up for a five-star sleep.
Dress up your duvet
High-quality duvets and pillows deserve stylish, high-quality covers that blend in with the rest of your décor, helping you transform your sleep environment.
There’s plenty of choice, whether you prefer earthy hues, relaxed stripe , textured fabrics, indulgent satin, or pure cotton coolness. Whatever your taste, now’s the time to give it free rein by finding a shade, fabric and pattern that spells relaxation for you.
Give your bed a glow-up
Like so many parents, you’ve probably gone without in order to give your kids what they need. So, if finances allow, why not finally treat yourself to a bedroom makeover?
If you have an older divan that’s looking a little tired, you don’t need to replace the whole bed. It’s easy to transform your divan with a base wrap. Available in a variety of colours and textures, these stretchy, easy-to-fit innovations simply wrap around your divan base to give it a completely new look, one which you can blend with your new duvet and pillow covers.
For even more comfort and aesthetic appeal, scatter your newly transformed bed with co-ordinating cushions and top it all off with a beautiful throw in the fabric of your choice. Voila! You have a new-look bedroom where you can relax into your new-look life. Your kids won’t recognise it when they’re next home with their laundry!
Make time for self-care
Go easy on yourself and practice self-compassion at this time. Some people find it helpful to keep themselves distracted for the first few weeks to cope with the change. Now is the time to indulge in some treats and nice dinners at a time that suits you! After the initial ‘shock’ of having an empty nest, you can start building yourself a new routine and even incorporating some of your old hobbies.
It’s potentially also a time to rebuild intimacy and rediscover sex without having the rest of the family in the house or due home from a party any moment.
FAQs
Why can empty nesters experience disturbed sleep?
Some people experience sleep challenges when their last or only child leaves home. For some this may be accompanied by a decrease in wellbeing or even an increase in anxiety or other mental health issues. Remember, this is a big life transition and, as such, can come with feelings or grief for your old life and anxiety about how your child is doing without you. The good news is that for many people this settles down over time.
It’s important to seek support if you’re concerned about your physical health, mental health or quality of life and/or relationships.
What other sleep changes can I expect as I get older?
As we get older, our hormones change and sleep challenges may present themselves. Women can experience sleep changes during perimenopause and menopause, and both men and women start to produce less melatonin in the evening they get older. Experts recommend getting exposure to morning light every day to help reset the body’s circadian rhythms (the sleep/wake cycle).
What should I do with my child’s bedroom now they’ve left home?
Have a chat with your teenager or young adult about their preference, but ultimately, it’s your choice what to do with their bedroom once they leave home. Many people choose to turn their child’s old bedroom into a guest bedroom, in which case you’ll need inspiration for new bedding and bedroom accessories.
If your teenager or young adult is renting or away at university, they may be struggling to get used to their new bed if it’s a downgrade from their bed at home. In which case, you might be tempted to treat them to a mattress topper to help them sleep more soundly recent piece on perimenopause
